羨妒滿花園 garden f envy (第1/4頁)

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佚名

Anonymous

Iknowgardenerswell，forIamagardener，too，butIexeriencegardeningasanactofutterfutility。Iknowtheirfickleness，Iknowtheirweaknessforwantingintheirowngardensthethingtheyhaveneverseenbefore，orneverossessedbefore，orsawinagarden（theirfriends），somethingwhichtheydonothaveandwouldliketohave。

IwouldnotbesurrisedifeverygardenerIaskedhadsomethingdefinitethattheylikedorenvied。Gardenersalwayshavesomethingtheylikeintenselyandinarticular;atanymoment，theylikeinarticularthis，ortheylikeinarticularthat，nothinginfrontofthemisreulsiveandfillsthemwithhatred，orthisthingwouldnotbeinfrontofthem。Theyonlylove，andtheyonlyloveinthemoment;whenthemomenthasassed，theylovethememoryofthemoment，theylovethememoryofthatarticularlantorthatarticularbloom，butthelantorthebloomitselftheyhavemovedonfrom，theyhaveleftitbehindforsomethingelse，somethingnew，eseciallysomethingfromfaraway，andfromsofaraway，alacewheretheywillneverlive（theHimalayas，justforexamle）。

Ofallthebenefitsthatcomefromhavingenduredchildhood，certainlyamongthemwillbethegardenandthedesiretobeinvolvedwithgardening。Agardenersgrandmotherwillhavegrownsuch，andsucharose，andthesmellofthatroseatdusk，whenthegardenerwasachildandwalkinginthegrandmothersfootstesasshewentaboutherbusinessinhergarden—thememoryofthatsmelloftherosecombinedwiththememoryofthatsmellofthegrandmothersskirtwillforeverinformandinfluencethelifeofthegardener，insideoroutsidethegardenitself。Andsoinaconversationwithsuchaerson（agardener），asentence，athoughtthatgoessomethinglikethis—

"YouknowwhenIwassuchandsuchanage，Iwenttothemarketforareasonthatisnolongerofanyarticularinteresttome，butitwasthereIsawforthefirsttimesomethingthatIhaveneverandcanneverforget

"—floatsoutintotheclearair，andtheersonfromwhomthesewordsorthisthoughtemanatesisstandinginfrontofyouallbareandtrembly，fulloffeeling，fullofmemory。Memoryisagardenersrealalette;memoryasitsummonsutheast，memoryasitshaestheresent，memoryasitdictatesthefuture。

IhaveneverbeenabletogrowMeconosisbenticifoliawithsuccess，buttheictureofitthatIhaveinmymind，aicturemadeuofmemory（Isawitsometimeago），aicturemadeuof

"tocome

"（thefuture，whichistheoositeofremembering），issointensethatwhateverhaensbetweenmeandthislantwillneversatisfytheictureIhaveofit。IfirstsawitinWayneWinterrowdsgarden，andIshallneverseethislantagainwithoutthinkingofhimandsayingtomyself，itshallneverlookquitelikethis（thewayIsawitinhisgarden），forinhisgardenitwasitselfandbeyondcomarison，andIwillalwayswantittolookthatway，growingcomfortablyinthemountainsofVermont，sofarawayfromthelacetowhichitisendemic，sofarawayfromthelaceinwhichitwasnatural，unnoticed，andsogoingaboutitsowneculiarwaysoferetuatingitself。