曾經的一個朋友 abut a at friend (第1/5頁)
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克勞迪婭·杜韋
ClaudiaDuwe
Hewasntaguyofbigwords，andheseemedtoliveentirelyinhisownworld。Irememberthatduringthedaysheworkedwithusnoneofusexactlyknewwhohewas，wherehecamefromorwhathewaslookingfor，andafterwardshedisaeared。Nobodyknewwherehehadgone，whathewasdoingorifhehadfriendsorafamilytostaywith。Iguess，wedidntevenknowhisname—andevenifwedid，Iveforgottenitanyway。
Thosedaysweremorethanhardforallofus。Thereseemedtobenoescaefromthegreynessofoureverydaylifewhichwastheonlycolourthatsurroundedus。Thehugeconcreteblockswelivedinwasgrey，thegreyofthefactorydust，eventhecolourofourclothes，thatoncemighthavebeenwhitewasgrey。Itmusthavebeenabrightandshiningwhite。。。andIcantexactlyrecallhowmuchtimeIsenttryingtoimaginethekindofwhiteitmighthavebeen。SincewhitewasthecolourofthekindofaradiseIsomuchlongedtoliveinsomeday，greyleftbehindnothingmorethanabittertasteofemtinessandderession。IcanrememberhowInoticedonce，thatanyothercolourmustbeasymbolforsomething，afeelingorwhatever。Onlygreyseemedtostandforabsolutelynothing。ThiswastheworldIlivedin，andsodidhe。
Havingourjobinthefactorywasstillluxurythough，consideringthefactthatmostofushadfamiliestofeed。Andnotlongafterhestartedtoworkthere，Iwouldalwaysfindhimworkingatthemachinenexttomine。Wedworkforhoursnexttoeachother，stayingquiet，withourthoughtsdriftingawaytoadifferentlacebutstillawareofourhandsdoingthesamemovementsoverandoveragain。Weweredoingthatuntilthebellwouldringtoendtheworkfortheday。Iusedtoworkinamechanicalway，followingthesamerhythmoverandoveragain，andsodidhe。ButeverytimeIwasabouttogiveu，hewouldlifthisheadandgivemealittlesmile，asifhecouldguessmythoughts。Ithinkitwasactuallyhiseyesthatimressedmemost。Theyweresodarkandstraight，andthoughtheyseemtobehidinganything，Icouldntgetridoftheimressionthatsomehowhemustbehidingsomething。
SinceIfirstsawhim，hehadalwaysbeenaround，andeverytimehegavemeoneofthosesmiles，hewouldsreadabitofwarmthintomyheart，abitoffriendliness。Iguess，attheendofthedayitmusthavebeenhimwhogavemethestrengthtogoonsomehow，justbybeingthere。
Well，tomakealongstoryshort，hediedonlyayearafterhestartedworkingwithus。Itwasacaraccidentandhedidnthavetosufferverylong。Imusthavebeenhisonlyfriendintown，atleastthatwaswhatIthoughtwhenIwenttohisfuneral。TheonlyersonImettherewasanoldlady，maybehismother。Shetoldmethathehadlosthisfamilyjusttheyearbeforeandafterthathedidntseakanymore。Hehadntsaidasingleword。FirstIdidntbelieveher。Ijustthoughtthathewasafairlyquieterson;besidestherewasnothingmuchtosayanyway。ButsuddenlyIrealizedthatIcouldntrecalleverhavingheardhisvoiceatall。OnlythendidIrealizeit!
HegavemesomuchandIknewsolittleabouthim。HehadbeenmyfriendandnowIhadlosthimwithouthavinghadthechancetogiveanythingback。Hehadbeensostrongthathewasabletogivewhateverhadhaened。
Ifeltweakinthosedays。Andguilty。ButafterthatIstartedtocarefortheeolearoundme。IthinkIstartedtolive。
他不會說大話，而且似乎完全活在自己的世界裏。還記得他與我們一起工作的日子裏，沒有人確切地知道他是誰，從哪裏來，在尋找什麼。後來他消失了，沒有人知道他去了哪裏，在做什麼，是否有朋友，或是否和家人一起。我估計我們甚至連他的名字都不知道——就算是聽說過，也記不起來了。
