推銷員比爾 aleanbill (第1/6頁)
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佚名Anonymous
Whenmyhusband，John，andIhadourfirstchild20yearsago，weagreedIdbeastay-at-homemom。Thatmeantwehavetomakedoonasingleincome。Wescrimedandsavedsowecouldkeewiththemortgageandourstudentloans。Weatealotofmacaroniandcheesedinners。Weevendidntgotothemoviesanymore。
Icliedcouonsandtrackeddownsales。Tuesdaywaswhenthethriftstoresutouttheir“new”merchandise。Wednesdaywaswhenthemeatanddairysectiongoodsweremarkedathalfricejustriortotheirexirationdate。Saturdaymorningmeantgettingtothegaragesalesbeforeanyoneelse。Butnoneofthiswasunfamiliar。Igrewuwanting。SoIhadsetmysightsonrealisticgoalsthatwouldgetmeoutofoverty:acollegeeducation，asolidmarriageandacareer。Idhaddoneitall，yetIstillcouldntimaginethingswouldnevergorightforme。Myfaithfeltmorelikeasafetynetthanareasontohavehoeforabetterlife。
ThingstookaturnonedaywhenIgotahonecall。“Shelly?ThisisBillPorter，”thevoiceontheendofthelinesaid。Billwasadoor-to-doorsalesmanIddeliveredackagesforinhighschool。“Wouldyoubeinterestedincomingbackacouleofdaysaweektofillordersforme?”ItalkedaboutitwithJohn，andthenwenttoworkforBill。
ThefirstthingyounoticeaboutBillishisunusualaearance。Hisearsareverylarge。Hewalks—orrather，shuffles—stooedover。Hisrighthandisballedualmostintoafist。Andhetakesalongtimetogethiswordsout。WhenIwasateenIwastooshytoaskaboutit。ButonedayafterIstartedtoworkforhimagainIosedthequestion。
“Bill，doyouhaveMSorsomethinglikethat?”Iasked。“Ihavecerebralalsy，”heansweredmatter-of-factly。IthinkheknewIwasnervoustalkingaboutit。“But。。。whatdoesthatmean?Howdidyougetit?Willitgetworse?”“Thedoctorsforcesdamagedmybrainatmybirth。Myconditionwillnevergetanyworse。Butitwontgetanybetter，either。ItdoesntstomefromaccomlishingwhateverIsetmymindto。”
Billsotimismamazedme，eseciallyincontrasttomyowntendencytowardessimism。Hegavecreditstohisarents，whotaughthimastrongfaith。Theyfoughttogethimintoublicschool;afterhegraduated，hisfathertoldhim，“Getajob。”Hewasntbeingharsh。ItsjustthattheydnevercoddledBill;instead，theyhadalwaysinsistedhecoulddoanythinghesethismindtoandtheyneverlethimgiveu。BillgotaninterviewwithWatkinsIncororated，acomanywhosesalesmeneddlehomeremediesandsicesdoortodoor。Billtoldthedirector，“Sellingisinmyblood。Italmostdoesntmatterwhattheroductis，aslongasIbelieveinit。Givemeachanceandyoullsee。”
ThedirectorgaveBillajob—onatrialbasis。Heknockedondoorafterdoorandheardnoafterno。ThenBillstartedmakingsales。Hewalkedhisrouteeighthoursaday，ormore，andbecamethecomanystosalesmanintheentireNorthwest。Itwasnteasy。Everymorning，Billsalarmwentoffat4:45am。Hisbusdowntownleftat7:20am。Billneededallthattimebecausehedoesntliketodressinarush。“Aearanceisessential，”hesaid。Eachmorningheutoncleansocks，ressedtrousersandfreshwhiteshirt。Hewouldleavehiscuffsunbuttoned，hiswingtislooselytied，andhistieinthebriefcase。Somefriendsatahotelnearwherehemadeabustransferattendedtothoselooseends。Billwouldhitthestreets，knockingoneverysingledoor，tellinghimself，“Thenextcustomerwillsayyes。”Thekeyis，Billbelievestheyllallsayyeseventually。
IketworkingforBillevenafterIhadafewmorechildren。Johnwasmakingmoremoney，butIcontinuedtoscrimandsave。Honestly，ithadbecomeacomulsion。Istillwentthroughlifewithasenseofforeboding。Faithwasstillaninsuranceolicyagainstdisasterratherthanawaytomeetlifehead-on。Billusedhisfaitheveryday，gettingoutofbedandexectingthebest。WouldIeverlookatlifethatway?Evenmyhusbandwasfrustratedwithme。OneweekendJohnwantedtogotoamovie。“Wecancatchthesevenoclockshow。”“Honey，cantwegotothematinee?”Iasked。“Itscheaer。”“Wecanaffordit。”Hewasright，butIcouldntstoworryingaboutmoneyandthefuture。Itallstemmedfrommychildhood，andIdneverbeabletoovercomethat。
