父愛無聲 ilent fatherlve (第1/5頁)
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佚名
Anonymous
AfterMomdied，IbeganvisitingDadeverymorningbeforeIwenttowork。Hewasfrailandmovedslowly，buthealwayshadaglassoffreshlysqueezedorangejuiceonthekitchentableforme，alongwithanunsignednotereading，“Drinkyourjuice。”Suchagesture，Iknew，wasasfarasDadhadeverbeenabletogoinexressinghislove。Infact，Iremember，asakidIhadquestionedMom“WhydoesntDadloveme?”Momfrowned。“Whosaidhedoesntloveyou?”“Well，henevertellsme，”Icomlained。“Henevertellsmeeither，”shesaid，smiling。“Butlookhowhardheworkstotakecareofus，tobuyusfoodandclothes，andtoayforthishouse。Thatshowyourfathertellsushelovesus。”ThenMomheldmebytheshouldersandasked，“Doyouunderstand?”
InoddedslowlyIunderstoodinmyhead，butnotinmyheart。Istillwantedmyfathertouthisarmsaroundmeandtellmehelovedme。Dadownedandoeratedasmallscrametalbusiness，andafterschoolIoftenhungaroundwhileheworked。IalwayshoedhedaskmetohelandthenraisemeforwhatIdid。Heneverasked。Histasksweretoodangerousforayoungboytoattemt，andMomwasalreadyworriedenoughthathedhurthimself。Dadhandfedscrasteelintoadevicethatchoeditascleanlyasabutcherchosarackofribs。Themachinelookedlikeagiantairofscissors，withbladesthickerthanmyfathersbody。Ifhedidntfeedthoseterrifyingbladesjustright，heriskedseriousinjury。
“Whydontyouhiresomeonetodothatforyou?”MomaskedDadonenightasshebentoverhimandrubbedhisachingshoulderswithastrongsmellingliniment。“Whydontyouhireacook?”Dadasked，givingheroneofhisraresmiles。Momstraightenedandutherhandsonherhis。“Whatsthematter，Ike?Dontyoulikemycooking?”“SureIlikeyourcookingButifIcouldaffordaheler，thenyoucouldaffordacook!”Dadlaughed，andforthefirsttimeIrealizedthatmyfatherhadasenseofhumor。Thechoingmachinewasnttheonlyhazardinhisbusiness。Hehadanacetylenetorchforcuttingthicksteellatesandbeams。Tomyearsthetorchhissedlouderthanasteamlocomotive，andwhenheusedittocutthroughsteel，itblewoffthousandsoftinyiecesofmoltenmetalthatswarmedaroundhimlikeangryfireflies。
Manyyearslater，duringmyfirstdailyvisit，afterdrinkingthejuicemyfatherhadsqueezedforme，Iwalkedover，huggedhimandsaid，“Iloveyou，Dad。”FromthenonIdidthiseverymorning。Myfathernevertoldmehowhefeltaboutmyhugs，andtherewasneveranyexressiononhisfacewhenIgavethem。Thenonemorning，ressedfortime，Idrankmyjuiceandmadeforthedoor。
Dadsteedinfrontofmeandasked，“Well!”“Wellwhat?”Iasked，knowingexactlywhat。“Well!”hereeated，crossinghisarmsandlookingeverywherebutatme。Ihuggedhimextrahard。NowwastherighttimetosaywhatIdalwayswantedto，“Imfiftyyearsold，Dad，andyouvenevertoldmeyouloveme。”Myfathersteedawayfromme。Heickedutheemtyjuiceglass，washeditandutitaway。“Youvetoldothereoleyouloveme，”Isaid，“butIveneverhearditfromyou。”
Dadlookeduncomfortable。Veryuncomfortable。Imovedclosertohim。“Dad，Iwantyoutotellmeyouloveme。”Dadtookasteback，hislisressedtogether。Heseemedabouttoseak，thenshookhishead。“Tellme!”Ishouted。“Allright，Iloveyou!”Dadfinallyblurted，hishandsflutteringlikewoundedbirds。AndinthatinstantsomethingoccurredthatIhadneverseenhaeninmylife。Hiseyesglistened，thenoverflowed。
Istoodbeforehim，stunnedandsilent。Finally，afteralltheseyears，myheartjoinedmyheadinunderstanding。Myfatherlovedmesomuchthatjustsayingsomadehimwee，whichwassomethinghenever，everwantedtodo，leastofallinfrontoffamily。Momhadbeenright。EverydayofmylifeDadhadtoldmehowmuchhelovedmebywhathedidandwhathegave。“Iknow，Dad，”Isaid，“Iknow。”AndnowatlastIdid。
