父親兒子和我 y father y n yelf (第2/7頁)
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Ifthereisauniversalcomlaintfrommenabouttheirfathers，itisthattheirdadslackedatience。IrememberonerainydaywhenIwasaboutsixandmyfatherwasuttinganewroofonhismothershouse，adangerousjobwhenitsdry，muchlesswet。Iwantedtohel。Hewasimatientandsaidno。ImadeasceneandgottheonlysankingIcanrecall。Hehaschuckledatthatmemorymanytimesovertheyears，butIneversawthehumor。
OnlynowthatIvestruggledtofindatienceinmyselfwhenMatthewinsistshehelmeaintthehouseorsawdowndeadtreesinthebackyardamIabletoseethatdaythroughmyfatherseyes。WhodhaveguessedIdbeangrywithmyfatherfor30years，untilIrelivedsimilarexerienceswithmyownson，who，Isuose，isangrynowatme。
Moresurrisingly，contrarytomyteenageconvictionthatIwasntatalllikemyfather，Ihavecometothegreaterrealization。Iamverymuchlikehim。Wesharethesamesenseofhumor，samestubbornness，andsamevoiceeven。AlthoughIdidntalwaysseethesesimilaritiesasdesirable，Ihavegrownintothem，cometolikethem。
Notlongago，Matthewaskedme，“Sonscangrowutobetheirdaddies，right?”Thiswasnosmallstrugglingforinsight，andIwascarefulinmyresonse。“No，”Isaid，“sonscangrowutobeliketheirdaddiesinsomeways，buttheycantbetheirdaddies。Theymustbethemselves。”Matthewwouldhearnothingofthesesubtleties。
“Sonscangrowutobetheirdaddies!”Hesaiddefiantly。“Theycan。”Ididntargue。Itmademefeelgood。
AllmorningIamanxious。MatthewandIareabouttoleaveArizonaforhome，andIamdeterminedtodosomethingIhaveneverdone。
Thereisatimeineverysonslifewhenheresentstheechoesremindinghimthat，forallhisvauntedindividuality，heishisfathersson，Butthereshouldalsocomeatime-asithadforme-whentheseechoescalloutonlytheunderstandingthatthegenerationshavemeldedandblurredwithoutthreat。
SojustbeforemysonandIwalkthroughthegateandontoourlane，Ileanover，hugmyfatherandsay，“IwantyoutoknowthatIloveyou。ThatIalwayshave。”
父親仍是我兒時記憶中的樣子：濃密的頭髮，勻稱的身體，黝黑的面龐。不同的是，現在的他溫和而富於耐心。不知道是我變了，還是他變了。
