繼父難當 the little dy wh chand y life (第1/5頁)

常青藤語言教學中心編譯提示您：看後求收藏（貓撲小說www.mpzw.tw），接着再看更方便。

佚名Anonymous

ShewasfoulyearsoldwhenIfirstmether。Shewascarryingabowlofsou。Shehadvery，veryfinegoldenhairandalittleinkshawlaroundhershoulders。Iwas29atthetimeandsufferingfromtheflu。LittledidIrealizethatthislittleladywasgoingtochangemylife?

HermomandIhadbeenfriendsformanyyears。Eventuallythatfriendshigrewintocare;fromcareintolove，tomarriage，andmarriagebroughtthethreeofustogetherasafamily。AtfirstIwasawkwardbecauseinthebackofmymind，IthoughtIwouldbestuckwiththedreadedlabelof“stefather。”Andstefathersweresomehowmythically，orinarealsense，ogresaswellasanemotionalwedgeinthesecialrelationshibetweenthechildandthebiologicalfather。

EarlyonItriedhardtomakeanaturaltransitionfrombachelorhoodtofatherhood。Ayearandahalfbeforewemarried，Itookanaartmentafewblocksawayfromtheirhome。Whenitbecameevidentthatwewouldmarry，Itriedtosendtimetoenableasmoothchangeoverfromfriendtofatherfigure。Itriednottobecomeawallbetweenmyfuturedaughterandhernaturalfather。StillIlongedtobesomethingsecialinherlife。

Overtheyears，myareciationforhergrew。Herhonesty，sincerityanddirectnesswerematurebeyondheryears。Iknewthatwithinthischildlivedaverygivingandcomassionateadult。Still，Ilivedinthefearthatsomeday，whenIhadtosteinandbeadiscilinarian，ImighthaveitthrowninmyfacethatIwasnther“real”father。IfIwasntreal，whywouldshehavetolistentome?Myactionsbecamemeasured。IwasrobablymorelenientthanIwantedtobe。Iactedinthatwayinordertobeliked，allthetimelivingoutaroleIfeltIhadtolive-thinkingIwasntgoodenoughorworthyenoughonmyownterms。

Duringtheturbulentteenageyears，weseemedtodriftaartemotionally。Iseemedtolosecontrol（oratleastthearentalillusionofcontrol）。ShewassearchingforheridentityandsowasI。Ifounditincreasinglyhardtocommunicatewithher。IfeltasenseoflossandsadnessbecauseIwasgettingfurtherfromthefeelingofonenesswehadsharedsoeasilyinthebeginning。

Becauseshewenttoaarochialschool，therewasanannualretreatforallseniors。EvidentlythestudentsthoughtthatgoingonretreatwaslikeaweekatClubMed。Theyboardedthebuswiththeirguitarsandracquetballgear。Littledidtheyrealizethatthiswasgoingtobeanemotionalencounterthatcouldhavealastingimressiononthem?Asarentsofthearticiants，wewereaskedtoindividuallywritealettertoourchild，beingoenandhonestandtowriteonlyositivethingsaboutourrelationshi。Iwrotealetteraboutthelittlegolden-hairedgirlwhohadbroughtmeabowlofsouwhenIneededcare。Duringthecourseoftheweek，thestudentsdelveddeeerintotheirrealbeings。Theyhadanoortunitytoreadtheletterswearentshadrearedforthem。

Thearentsalsogottogetheronenightduringthatweektothinkaboutandsendgoodthoughtstoourchildren。Whileshewasaway，InoticedsomethingcomeoutofmethatIknewwasthereallalong，butwhichIhadntfaced。ItwasthatinordertobefullyareciatedIhadtolainlybe“me”。Ididnthavetoactlikeanyoneelse。IwouldntbeoverlookedifIwastruetomyself。IjusthadtobethebestmeIcouldbe。Itmaynotsoundlikemuchtoanyoneelse，butitwasoneofthebiggestrevelationsofmylife。

Thenightarrivedwhentheycamehomefromtheirretreatexerience。Thearentsandfriendswhohadcometoickthemuwereaskedtoarriveearly，andtheninvitedintoalargeroomwherethelightswereturneddownlow。Onlythelightsinthefrontoftheroomwereshiningbrightly。

Thestudentsmarchedjoyouslyin，alldirty-lacedasthoughtheyhadjustcomebackfromsummercam。Theyfiledinarm-in-arm，singingasongtheyhaddesignatedastheirthemefortheweek。Throughtheirsmudgylaces，theyradiatedanewsenseofbelongingandloveandself-confidence。